The Wrong Choice

I have a confession to make. I can be very stubborn. I’m not talking about minor resistance to change, but a stubbornness that borders on stupidity. This may come as a surprise to many of you, although not to my family and close friends – and certainly not to my wife. Even though this trait is sometimes a good thing that keeps me from flip-flopping on opinions, there are times when I don’t allow additional thoughts to enter into my decision making. And when this stubbornness keeps me from hearing what God has to say to me, well, that’s when I realize that I need to make some changes. 2014 highlighted one such example for me.

At the beginning of the year Woodside decided to participate in the Run for God bible study. This is a program that combines a bible study with a running program designed to take you from the couch to a 5k run over a 12 week period. Now I’m not a runner – never have been. I used to run to get in shape to play soccer, when I was younger (I won’t say young), and for softball (as I matured), but I never ran as exercise or to experience the so-called “joy of running”. Michelle has also never been a runner, probably less so than me. I have to admit that we have made comments over the years about runners and their obsession. So I automatically assumed that there would be no interest in the Run for God program in the Burgess family. God had other plans.

I don’t remember when, or how, Michelle let me know of her intentions to participate but I know I was surprised. Actually “shocked” would be closer to the mark. Looking back on that moment I now realize that this was a perfect moment for me to reflect and speak with God, but for whatever reason I chose to make this decision on my own. I immediately used the Dan Schaal reflex to something new: Nope. No way. Not going to happen! Even though this was a church event I did not spend any time at all to consider the possibility of participating. And to make it worse I didn’t give my full support to Michelle. I did support her in some ways – changing or adjusting my schedule so that she could attend the bible study and workout a few days a week, but I didn’t throw in the moral support that I should have. I apologized for that later, but that was well after the fact. Through the whole study I never really changed my opinion of Run for God. It wasn’t until the race was done that I understood, and there were three specific points that highlighted my mistake.

Race Day – I did agree to be a volunteer on the day of the race. But even there I was a little annoyed that I had to be there at 5:30am to help out. Oh I did what was asked of me, and did it to my full potential – but my heart wasn’t in it. That began to change when I met the guys from Teen Challenge who were running. A couple of months before, Maria Wilson had told Michelle that there were a group of guys from a recovery home that were interested in running. We found out that they were from Teen Challenge in Rehrersburg, PA. This was one of those God wink moments because CLPRM, the ministry Michelle and I are so involved with, had not only visited this recovery home, but we currently had two men there on CLPRM scholarships. And yet their participation in the run was not through the ministry but was result of looking for a way to run as a group. Woodside, which has been such a blessing to the ministry, “just happened” to be the venue that they found to be a part of. The six young men who came to participate were such great examples of how the power of God can change the lives of those struggling with addiction. Each of them had battled with substance abuse and a couple of them had been in prison as a result. Their growing relationship with Jesus has transformed them and changed their lives. They were so helpful, respectful and appreciative of their new lives that it reinforced to me the importance of what CLPRM does.

The Finish – A simple, yet powerful, moment came as I watched Michelle cross the finish line. When she began the training I don’t think she really thought she would be able to run the whole race. The joy on her face as she crossed the finish line, running the entire 5k, was the first indication to me that I had made a poor choice. She wanted to do something and God had given her the help and the strength that she needed to do it.

After the Race – In the days following the run I reflected on what I learned. Once again I realized that the choices we make are so much clearer when we speak with God before making them. Over the last several years I have done a better job of praying and speaking with my Father before making decisions. But I also realize that there are still too many times that I act on my own emotions without making the proper consultation. Maybe I’ll take the bible study and run next year; maybe I won’t. But before I decide I’m going to go to my Adviser and talk things over.   

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path.

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Awareness

Psalm 23:4 - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me.

I do try to not fear evil. However it is also important that we not forget that it is there. Sometimes it is important to be reminded of it. For the last six plus years I've been a part of a ministry that goes into a Philadelphia prison six to eight times a month to lead a worship service. Although we've had incidents of disrespect and disruption we've never had a violent occurrence there. Well, I guess I should have said, we had never had a violent occurrence - before. At the end of tonight's service, as Royce was beginning the altar call, one of the men was slashed across the face with a knife or a similar sharp item.

We're not sure if it was thrown or hand wielded, but one of the guys received one or two decent size slashes across his face. It appeared that he was ok, but there was a lot of blood. Bob took over immediately making all the correct moves. He looked straight at me and told me to get the CO (Correctional Officer). As soon as the CO's began coming in the room he hustled us out the door and away from any potential action.

We then had the chance to reflect on what just happened. While multiple emotions flowed amongst us, I realized that one emotion was not present within me. I felt no fear. I was happy we were all safe, and hoped that the men and the responding CO's would all be safe - but at no time did I fear what was happening. Maybe it was because I was on the other side of the room. However, the room isn't really that big so that probably wasn't it. Maybe it was all of the CO's that began pouring in. But it actually took them a little while to secure the area, so it probably wasn't that either.

So what was it? As I write this I realize that it was the numerous comments the men made, all saying about the same thing - "We don't do that here". And what I can interpret that to mean is, "This is a house of God. We don't do that here."

The men that come down week after week are getting it. They are beginning their walk and trying to change their lives. That made me feel safe. I felt that they "had our backs" and would have done whatever they had to do to keep us safe. And I mean what I say when I said that they are beginning their walk. Because I hope eventually they begin to drop a word. "We don't do that" is infinitely better than "we don't do that here".

God was with us tonight. He doesn't promise that we will always be safe. He doesn't guarantee that our walk will be easy. What he does is let us know that the walk we take with him will be worthwhile. And that is really what's important.

Psalm 23:5-6 - You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

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